Posted by: cordy74 | February 18, 2011

All Knotted Up

I don’t remember when my parents first taught me how to tie my shoes. If I were to guess I would say that it was probably my Dad who taught me. He seemed to take the lead in teaching us that sort of thing. All I know for sure is that I found out earlier this week that I have been tying my shoes incorrectly for thirty-some-odd years now. If I can’t tie my shoes the right way how can I possibly be trusted to raise children properly?

I love the website Lifehacker.com. Lifehacker isn’t just a website for geeks or the tech-savvy. There are all kinds of tips and tricks covering every subject from cooking and washing clothes to computers and automobile maintenance.  Just the other day I saw a post which explained the correct way to tie shoelaces.

If you really want to see what I’m talking about please go to the link and take a look.  Otherwise, here is what it amounts to:

If you tie your shoes one way it turns into a granny knot that comes untied easily. If you tie them a slightly different way you end up with a Reef or Square knot that stays tied and actually tightens as your foot flexes in the shoe.

It all comes down to which direction you send the bunny around the tree before he jumps down the hole. If your bunny runs one direction around your tree and the knot ends up looking sloppy you are doing it wrong. Go the other direction. If, after your bunny is done running his happy little ass around the tree, your loops and shoelace ends are nice and straight and perpendicular to your leg and foot then you have successfully tied a Reef knot.

As much as I would like to blame my Dad for not instilling correct shoe-tying techniques into me I just can’t do it. I know that at some point after he showed me how I either became lazy or figured I knew a faster and better way to do it. What did he know anyway? Well, it turns out he probably knew quite a bit more than I did.

As I said, I’d like to blame Dad for my decades of sloppily-tied sneakers and work boots. It would be so easy. Unfortunately, the blame falls squarely on my shoulders. I have not tied my shoes correctly for over thirty years. Now I’m supposed to teach my kids how to tie their shoes?

Many times in the past I have joked that people should be required to pass a test before they are allowed to have children. Little did I know at the time that I would have failed the shoe-tying portion of that quiz. WRONG ANSWER! NO CHILDREN FOR YOU!! NEXT!!!

I guess my saving grace is that I was finally able to learn the “correct” way to tie my shoes. It sounds cliche but old dogs can learn new tricks. I fully feel I have earned the right to have and keep my children… at least as far as their shoes are concerned. Now I just need to get down to the business of teaching the kids how to tie their shoes correctly.

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