Posted by: cordy74 | February 25, 2009

How To Get Rich Quickly: Part 1

It is not groundbreaking news that the economy is bad and is not going to get better any time soon. It is affecting everyone, myself included. Just read my previous post “Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop.” I’m not saying the End Times are here or anything as apocalyptic as that. Everyone is trying to cope as best they can. A lot of people are also looking for any way to make more money easily or even how to get rich quickly. That’s where I come in. This is the first of several postings that may very well change your life.

I hate to break it to you this way but NOT EVERYONE CAN BE RICH OR GET THERE QUICKLY. How do I know this? Good question. I am neither rich nor did I get in this financial state at a rapid pace. It has taken me years to accrue the debt I currently have. You don’t just wake up one morning and dig yourself a hole like this. It takes monumental impatience, tremendous lack of planning, excessive material greed and a painstaking lack of attention to details (it apparently also requires a superfluous use of adjectives).

Right now you are asking yourself, “Why should I listen to this guy? If he’s in so much debt, what can he possibly tell me about getting rich?” That is another excellent question. The answer is simple: because I am not rich and have taken my entire adult life to get into the ninth circle of financial hell I know all of the wrong things to do!! It seems pretty obvious to me, as it will to you, that if you do the exact opposite of what I have done you will get extremely rich very quickly. It’s not rocket science people.

Enough with the questions, already. Okay, I’ll answer one more. Right now you are asking yourself, “Why should I listen to this treatise on getting rich quickly? There are so many sites devoted to this same subject all over the internet. Why should I choose this one?” I’ll tell you why. It’s free. That’s right. I’m not charging you a single dime for this information. I am, however, accepting donations. Think of me as a non-tax-exempt charity. When you think of me this way try to imagine me as a homeless child or a baby harp seal about to be clubbed. That should make opening your wallet a little easier, shouldn’t it? Feel free to contact me for more information on donations. We can set up a Paypal transfer or I can just give you my address so you can send cash or a check. Where was I? Oh yeah. Telling you how to get rich quickly. I have distilled my knowledge into a one step program.

Step 1: Take every choice I have made since the age of 15 (when I had my first job walking bean fields and then working on the Welsh Brothers hog farm) and do the EXACT OPPOSITE.

There. It’s just that easy. What’s that? Not satisfied with that answer? Ooohhh, you want more information. I guess you would have to know all of the choices I have made in order to make the opposite choices, wouldn’t you? We really don’t have time for that here. I’ll tell you what: we’ll hit the highlights. Let’s start with:

Love and Marriage – According to my philosophy on getting rich quickly you should do the following:

Do not: meet a member of the opposite sex, like them right away, fall in love with them quickly, grow to realize they are your one true love and end up marrying them. This path does NOT lead to getting rich. Suuure, I love my wife more than just about anything in the world and couldn’t imagine my life without her, but that didn’t end up getting me rich, did it? Looking back I would not have made these choices differently, but you should. Without a doubt. That’s the first step to getting rich quickly.

As a corollary to the aforementioned True Love debacle I should state that it may be possible for you to marry into money. I never thought of this one until just now. Look into it. There have to be some rich, lonely, desperate women or men out there just looking for someone to spoil. That someone could be you. I guess it is even remotely possible that the rich person you marry could even be the true love of your life. If you believe that I have some swampy land in my back yard that I think might interest you.

That’s all the TRUTH I’m going to lay on you right now. Let it soak in for a few days and I’ll check back with you. In the meantime take a look at your life and start the re-evaluation process. This might also be a good time to begin notifying your loved ones that they may see some major changes coming down the pipeline.

How have you avoided getting rich quickly?



  1. Seriously . . . Dave Ramsey. We got on the program four years ago and it’s been a huge help. Of course, it also means that I have less spending cash than I did when we were nineteen. But it’s great for a guy like me who would otherwise piss away his money in five-dollar increments.

    • I’ve listened to Ramsey on the radio and like some of his ideas. Just haven’t gotten to the point where I wanted to commit to his ways. That was before the recent salary reductions, of course.

  2. […] To Get Rich Quickly: Part 2 Some of you may remember my previous post about How To Get Rich Quickly.  Hopefully you read through it and took notes.  By now you should be nearly done reevaluating […]

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